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Why Orthodox Bishops Should Either Say Something Nice, Or Remain Silent on DOMA

In light of the recent Supreme Court ruling which struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) signed into law by former Pres. Bill Clinton in '96 (back when the definition of marriage was between a man, his wife, and his intern), many Orthodox Christians are wondering whether or not the Orthodox Church should make any kind of a statement regarding DOMA, or at least if American Orthodox Church hierarchy shouldn't make a big brew-ha-ha over it.

Allow me to explain why condemning the ruling, is a very, very, bad idea. Not only that, it would risk exposing the Orthodox Church as the sad, insecure, far too into making boys play football and girls bake cupcakes, bigoted institution it has become.

25% of the world's natural gas wells are leaking. If our Orthodox Bishops can find the time to tell people what they can't do in their own bedrooms but can't find the time to condemn relaxed regulations that allow gas to seep into people's drinking water...( that would be offensive.

If our Orthodox Bishops are more interested in standing with Rand Paul than they are with Edward Snowden, there's some chance they never really stood for freedom, even from sin.

If our Orthodox Bishops can find the time to condemn gay marriage, (or Same-Sex-Attraction as some of them call it) but can't find the time to condemn the banking system that's come to light through the emails that recently came out, written pre-'08 crash, by S&P employees saying, "Lord help our [expletive] scam . . . this has to be the stupidest place I have worked at," and “We rate every deal. It could be structured by cows and we would rate it.”

And again if Orthodox Bishops can find the time to tell individuals they can't take it up the rear while giving the ol' silent treatment when Morgan Chase tells homeowners' they're going to be taking it up the ass, that's offensive.

So I think it would be wise if our hierarchy took a hint from the God we worship, by responded to the issue of DOMA, with absolute silence.

Besides, most Orthodox Bishops don't even know what a homosexual is. This whole issue is literally happening at the same time they're taking basic sex-ed, and are still on chapter 1.

We can't expect our leadership to show either understanding or compassion yet, until after they've seen "My Mom's Having a Baby" and gone, "ohhhhhh, so that's where babies come from."

But really, as one of the few remaining, more enlightened Orthodox Bishops likes to say, "Moral outrage is a form of confession. We hate most in others, what we fear most in ourselves."

Which can only mean one thing. Right now, at conference of Orthodox leaders in Texas... the biggest Ortho-gay fuck fest the laity has ever seen is taking place, because Orthodox Clergy really, really, hate gay people. And they DEFINITELY DO NOT, approve of oral sex.

So remember, for all the homosexuals in our Church who've ever been made to feel ostracized and alone due to the intolerance of most of our Clergy, we the laity, near and far, who commune with you at the Eucharist, stand with you and wish you joy and happiness in your right to marry; to love and to be loved.

And for our Priests and Bishops who still think St. John Chrysostom had it right, here's a video of two gay dogs fucking (yes, it's relevant).
Gay Dogs gettin' at it